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Clear As Mud


The Daily Diatribe: I thought transparency was supposed to be the new buzzword on Wall Street. After last week’s 1,000 point, 20-minute meltdown, one would have thought that we would have already captured the culprit, doused him or her in tar and feathers, and gotten about our business. Instead, the SEC, lead by Sheila Bair, says that they have not been able yet to determine what happened.

Well, bust my buttons. Imagine that; the SEC cannot figure out what happened. I have an idea; why not let Sheila Bair contact Bernie Madoff in prison and ask him if he has any ideas as to how this transpired. Like chicken soup, it can’t hurt.

Who knows? He just might know something. Here’s what I know. All of the gnashing of teeth going on in Washington over the oil spill (they are reaming BP), the meltdown, and the European crisis makes me want to vomit. I haven’t met a government regulator yet who doesn’t think prudence dictates shooting the survivors after a war is over and that is precisely what is happening right now. Okay, make BP pay for the oil spill, but why not let them clean it up instead of sending all their execs to Washington in order to explain how this could have happened. Hey, it happened. Fix it and we’ll talk later.

The same thing with the meltdown. Somebody knows exactly what happened. Somebody on Wall Street knows. Nobody in Washington D.C. knows what happened. So, how do you fix it? Take the problem to the guys who don’t know. Brilliant, eh?

Look, folks, I have zero sympathy for the BP execs or the moron who caused the meltdown. What I do have is a healthy respect for all of the people out there who need for this kind of stuff to not happen again. Let’s try to focus on fixing the problem before we focus on shooting the problem causer.

After all, we can always shoot them later. Personally, I think death is too lenient. Deport them to Iran. That oughta do it.

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