Santa: Clearly a Conservative
Santa: Definitely a Conservative
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A very Merry Christmas to each and every one of you!
Now, on with the headline…
This question comes up every year. “Is Santa a Democrat or a Republican”?
I’m solidly in the “Republican” camp, and here are my top 10 reasons…in no order whatsoever.
1. Santa wears a red suit. Red is decidedly the color of the Republican Party.
2. Santa is an old white guy. Hate to say it, but demographics don’t lie.
3. Santa’s girth is indicative of a diet high in fats and processed sugar. Santa ain’t no vegan, PETA supporting Liberal.
4. Santa is a net jobs provider. He has a sizable labor force that would be in the unemployment lines without his leadership and capital investment.
5. Santa doesn’t take from the naughty to give to the nice, he incentivizes good behavior with a yearly performance bonus.
6. Santa is generous with his private, non government subsidized, wealth. The Claus received no bailout money.
7. Santa even gives the naughty the gift of fossil fuel. What a guy!
8. Santa is non-unionized. Ever hear of an elf strike?
9. Santa runs a major factory at the North Pole. Clearly no global warming concerns.
10. Santa is a jolly old soul who never complains about his workload and obligations. Not once has he blamed Bush.
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