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Is Santa A Democrat Or Republican?

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Because a pollster’s idea of “Happy Holidays” means combining politics with Jesus’ birth…. the folks at Public Policy Polling released a survey that asked people whether they thought Santa Claus is a Democrat or Republican.

My initial thought was, “Good heavens, why are we politicizing St. Nick?”

But then I started thinking about the mentality of a guy who spends all year employing essentially slave labor to make toys for good kids. Oh sure, sure… the elves LOVE doing the work. I’m sure the Red Chinese party leaders say the same thing about their ’employees’!

And what about that list? How the heck is Santa determining naughty and nice?

One word: drones.

So, this got me thinking – Santa MUST be a Republican, right? Using cheap labor, a surveillance state, and punishing bad kids with lumps of coal (not a very compassionate response to youthful indiscretions).

Plus, ummm hello! Would a Democrat wear a RED suit?

I also suspect Santa might be over-using those reindeer. Flying around the world and visiting EVERY home in a single night must be a violation of some workplace rules.

But it was the reindeer that got me thinking differently… clean transportation. Right? No Republican would use that kind of mode when a magic-powered SUV is available!

Also, have you noticed how Santa never worries about the cost of stuff? We never hear him running out of money to fulfill all the wishes and wants of the people. Yeah – total Democrat.

Well, apparently, 44% of people surveyed think Santa IS a Democrat.  While 28% said he’s a Republican.

Some other poll results:

– If voters saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, 43% would tell Daddy, 40% would not and 17% weren’t sure.

– When asked, “If Grandma got run over by a reindeer, would you press charges against Santa?” 61% would not press charges, to 24% who would. 33% of Democrats would press charges compared to 19% of Republicans.

So, we’re pretty evenly split on whether to rat out Mom for her cheating heart. But what’s up with the law-and-order Democrats?! I find it interesting that people believe Santa is Democrat, but the Democrats would cuff him for the sleigh accident.

The survey also found 62% of us say our favorite part of the holidays is spending time with family. Honestly, I think this is one of those “I only watch TV news for the weather and good stories” responses – when you know the person actually watches for the car accidents and murder stories. They just don’t want to SAY they watch for the bloody stuff.

Also from the PPP survey:

– Cookies were the favorite holiday treat at 29%.

– The most popular holiday movies were It’s a Wonderful Life, 22%, and A Christmas Story with 20%. Santa is the clear winner for favorite holiday character at 40% followed by Rudolph at 20%.

– When asked what the most annoying holiday song was, 36% said “The Chipmunk Song”; the runner up was “Santa Baby” at 13%.

 At least we all agree on the most annoying song. Maybe there is hope for America.

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Pete Kaliner hosts the 3-6 p.m. drive-time slot on Asheville’s WWNC Radio. Visit his blog and listen live.

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