Letter to our Enemies
A Letter to Our Enemies:
Dearest Opponent,
Let me assure you that your threats that have been spoken, have been heard. The building of your armaments and the vitriol of your leaders against all of our foreign aid, has been duly observed and noted. Your shaking fists and the rallies in the streets, chants of our downfall, combined with pro form propaganda reminiscent of tyranny, accusing us of all manner of immoral atrocities, haven’t cost you anything in advertising, for our media has done it for you, for free. Terrorist acts are nowhere near as effective as your covert buyouts of our economic industries and institutions of education. The way you send your sons and daughters to our schools to learn and then become citizens that spend their lives railing against our horrible nation, is without a doubt commendable as an application of the tactic that brought down empires: divide and conquer. Kudos. Pour the celebratory champagne and light the Havanas.
But, my enemy, do not over applaud or celebrate what appears to be fruits of your dedicated and insidious labors. For in truth, you’ve done nothing.
We have destroyed ourselves through the most ingenious weapon ever known: Tolerance. Yes, dear enemy, our once great nation tolerates everything and everyone, bending to the whim that a minority has a right to whatever they want, at whatever cost to the majority, and so we have tolerated ourselves into anarchy. We can’t agree on anything, because we can’t agree on agreeing about something, even though compromise is a tolerant thing. We can’t get anything done, because we’re too interested in proving others aren’t getting anything done. We are convinced that conviction is intolerable, except of course, conviction about being tolerant of not having convictions. We seek to feed the world while our hungry are not fed. We give you our goods, because our goods aren’t good enough for our own good. We give you our jobs, because we can’t tolerate paying people what they are worth, excepting that some people are paid more than enough, to say we are paid more then what we are worth. We tolerate our lives of constant fear of everything except tolerance of our lives in constant fear. We tolerate everything except intolerance, and therefore we contradict ourselves.
We can’t fire a weapon against you dear enemy, because we can’t tolerate triggers on weapons. We don’t defend ourselves because we are defending everyone else against ourselves. We have sent out our brave soldiers to defend you against our politicians. We have sent you our politicians to keep our brave soldiers from aiding you. We have sent you aid, so that you can be ungrateful. We are ungrateful, because you are ungrateful, due in part to our ungratefulness. Applause is in order here, except applause is intolerable because it would mean some group might get credit where credit is due, and that would mean we didn’t tolerate someone else’s mediocrity in bringing about our demise.
Dear enemy, we know you have only our country’s well-being in mind, in seeking to destroy us, but we don’t need help. For you to think we need help is intolerant of you. So stand back and tolerate. Watch the fracture of our society. Observe the amoralism of our government. Ponder the poverty of the common man. Consider the death of things sacred. Hear the screams of the ivory tower elites. Watch logic and reasoning fail. Feel the breeze kicked up by the implosion of chivalry, honor, and commitment. Watch us slay our young and tolerate those who practice a sexuality that does not produce young. Watch us learn, that what we are learning is not tolerant, so we will reinvent our history to make it even less historical, so that the learning of it can be tolerated. Learn enemy, that these lessons be not repeated. The sage has said, “Those who do not learn from history, are doomed to repeat it.” He must be wrong because he was under conviction, and that is intolerant. Those that do learn from history, only seek to see if they can finish the lesson faster then the ones before them. But alas, that means a pursuit of something, and that can’t be tolerated, unless of course, the pursuit is tolerant. Do not fear, for we are more then willing to tolerate you in your efforts to tolerate our damnable tolerance.
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