Shark Attacks and Alien Invasions: Must Be Global Warming
Honestly, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. First comes news that global warming is a likely contender as the cause for a jump in shark attacks:
An apparent increase in shark attacks may well have a human cause, with low-cost air travel but also over-fishing and possibly global warming among the hidden suspects, say experts.
Headlines this week were grabbed by a decision to close beaches in the Seychelles after a shark savaged a British honeymooner before the horrified gaze of his spouse, in the second fatal attack there in 15 days.
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David Jacoby, a specialist at the Marine Biological Association in Plymouth, south-western England, said shark attacks were events that had local causes and were often poorly investigated, if at all.
One case that stands out occurred in the Egyptian resort of Sharm el-Sheikh, where sharks made five attacks in a week in November-December last year, one of which was fatal.
The finger of blame was pointed at a passing livestock transport ship that had dumped sheep carcasses overboard and at operators who illegally fed sharks to thrill the tourists.
Another question – but again, lacking sufficient data to answer it – is the impact on shark behaviour from overfishing and from global warming, which affects ocean temperatures and currents.
“We know that these animals are opportunistic and they go to where food sources are available, and those resources do move, and they are dependent on currents, nutrient-rich patches,” Mr Jacoby said.
“It’s not just sharks that do this, but all large pelagic predators are drawn to areas where there is high food availability. But whether this is a case of increased human activity is unclear.”
So let me get this straight: somebody dumps a boatload of sheep carcasses into the water, which naturally attracts sharks, and the logical extension of the article is to weave global warming into the narrative as a possible cause of increased shark attacks, even though there’s no evidence to indicate that might be the case?
In any event, if you’re lucky enough to survive a trip to the beach, global warming will still get you in the end, courtesy of a highly agitated and righteously angry E.T.
It may not rank as the most compelling reason to curb greenhouse gases, but reducing our emissions might just save humanity from a pre-emptive alien attack, scientists claim.
Watching from afar, extraterrestrial beings might view changes in Earth’s atmosphere as symptomatic of a civilisation growing out of control – and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat, the researchers explain.
This highly speculative scenario is one of several described by scientists at Nasa and Pennsylvania State University that, while considered unlikely, they say could play out were humans and alien life to make contact at some point in the future.
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The authors warn that extraterrestrials may be wary of civilisations that expand very rapidly, as these may be prone to destroy other life as they grow, just as humans have pushed species to extinction on Earth. In the most extreme scenario, aliens might choose to destroy humanity to protect other civilisations.
“A preemptive strike would be particularly likely in the early phases of our expansion because a civilisation may become increasingly difficult to destroy as it continues to expand. Humanity may just now be entering the period in which its rapid civilisational expansion could be detected by an ETI because our expansion is changing the composition of the Earth’s atmosphere, via greenhouse gas emissions,” the report states.
“Green” aliens might object to the environmental damage humans have caused on Earth and wipe us out to save the planet. “These scenarios give us reason to limit our growth and reduce our impact on global ecosystems. It would be particularly important for us to limit our emissions of greenhouse gases, since atmospheric composition can be observed from other planets,” the authors write.
Where’s Al Gore when you need him? Oh, that’s right; hanging at one of his many mega carbon-footprint mansions and jet-setting the globe in chartered luxury aircraft – to warn us peasants about the myriad evils of our energy-consuming ways, of course.
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