The Flip-Flop Police
I’m back from a respite with the family at the beach, where I wore flip-flops nearly every waking hour and, I’m fairly certain, at least twice slept through the night with them still stuck to my feet after passing out on the couch, KO’d from battling waves with the kids.
Unfortunately, my days of flip-flop-wearing fun probably are numbered. As are yours, too, for that matter. This from the uptown paper a few weeks back, under an ominous headline The hazards of flip-flops:
Are flip-flops, the quintessential symbol of leisurely summer living, ticking time bombs prepared to destroy the very foundation we stand on?
Probably not.
But there’s no denying that the footwear of choice for millions in summer – and year-round for some – can cause trouble if used improperly.
…
In the United Kingdom, where a more socialized form of health care makes it easier to track such matters, the National Health Service estimates that $62 million is spent annually treating 200,000 flip-flop related injuries.
The problem, says [Dr. Kevin] Logel and other medical people is that flip-flops are great for short excursions such as shuffling across a hot pool deck, scampering down the driveway to grab the morning paper, or getting to the beach from your beach house. But because of their minimal design and lack of contact with your foot, they’re a problem for longer-term use.
This is how the nanny state starts the ball rolling, when it eyes yet another intrusion into the private lives of its citizens, with statistics and studies that toss out eye-popping numbers like $62 million a year and warn of dire health/social consequence without the intervention of folks who know better how you should live your life. That, of course, being government.
How long before some public official or politico gets it into their warped brain to make some headlines calling for further investigation and study of the burgeoning flip-flop hazard, and how much public benefit could be realized by implementing a ban or stricture on the offending footwear?
That leads to a round of hearings and committees, with referrals to sub-committees and task forces, which return recommendations for ways to solve the problem that they created.
And before you know it, flip-flops will rank somewhere with Big Gulps, buttered popcorn and ice cream on the endangered species list.
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